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Who called it a “catered funeral service” instead of a “late lunch?”

*packing my lunch for tomorrow and the sweet dulcet sound of Caress Me Down plays* Mucho gusto quiero broccoli i'm hungry for that can of baked beans.

As I get older, what I consider lunchtime gets earlier and earlier.

Me: lunch isn't based on a time lunch is based on being shitfaced on mimosas and eating eggs

My Boss: that's brunch and you've been on break for 2 hours

Me: sorry I smell like eggs

Some days, I eat a salad for lunch. And others, I have bacon cheddar dip with crackers followed by some candy. It's called balance.

Someone stole my lunch out of the office mousetrap.

ME: Hey, I’m taking my punch break.

COWORKER: You mean “lunch” break?

ME: *already getting punched in the face* No, I do not.

eating your lunch in your car at work is the adult version of the high school bathroom stall.

Me: [bursting into tears at the Golden Corral lunch buffet] I’ve just never seen so much flank steak