Fresh Lettuce (@newlettuce) 's Twitter Profile
Fresh Lettuce

@newlettuce

Just hangin in there.

Tweets: twitter.com/search?q=from%…

ID: 922338955537862657

calendar_today23-10-2017 05:48:38

11,11K Tweet

5,5K Followers

892 Following

Patches (@mostly_cheese) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Doctor: Your wife has a sexually transmitted parasite that steals calcium from her bones, increases her risk of death from a stroke, and causes hemorrhoids, bleeding gums and constipation Husband: OMG Doctor: Congratulations, it’s a boy

Brooks Otterlake (@i_zzzzzz) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Q is too high up in the alphabet. I respect it but it has no place between P and R. Should be at the end with the weirdo/goth letters

Dan Polish Last Name (@danjan13) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Nowadays seems like people just say meth, but we used to call it crystal meth. I think that’s better. If I were in charge of meth I would really get back into the crystal angle and get moms into it. But to answer your question, I accept the position of godfather to young Phillip

Fresh Lettuce (@newlettuce) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Homeowner's association is mad about the garden gnome smoking a cigarette in my front yard. Cmon, I can't control that dude

Daggerlad (@daggerlad2) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Teacher: What’s 3x7 Me: 🙋 Teacher: Answer or bathroom? Me: bafroom… *retrieving my mom’s iPad from where I stashed it in the bathroom ceiling, FaceTiming my dad* Dad: I’ve got a good feeling about this one Me: free times seben Dad: Shit I don’t know that one either buddy

cory (@coolmathgame_) 's Twitter Profile Photo

stick on the ground: he doesn’t see me. he doesn’t see me. please don’t see me my drunk ass: yooooo check out this stick