How To Be A Humor Writer In 27 Easy Steps, by The Notorious B.E.V. 🌈 open.substack.com/pub/bevpotter/…

hamburger help us

Registration for the Selective Service System will now be automatic, but doing the same for voter registration is “impossible”.

The world contains protons, neurons, electrons and morons.

Me: [sniffing an open can of Chef Boyardee] Ah yes, a very good year.

Excuses for not going biking: It’s too windy. My back hurts. The troll under the bridge. Will make bees angry. Biking? In this economy?

Trump says his life was better before he became president. Dude, everyone's lives were better before you became president!

the mold growing in my water bottle said you would say that

Just gotta get through through today and tomorrow and then the next 20 to 30 years

Baby Jessica is this year’s Milkshake Duck

before buying something online, ask yourself: do I want to get an email from this company for the rest of my life?

A reading from the Book of Tarantino

There’s live TV, and then there’s Beastie Boys tearing through “Sabotage” on Letterman in 1994 like they were trying to blow the roof off the place.

now that im an adult i understand why all my grandma did was smoke cigarettes on her patio listening to music

I’m almost 60 and I sat down in a canvas camp chair. I live here now.

I just bought The Sorrow and the Pity if anybody’s looking for a party animal.

Red Lobster had initiated the Ryan Reynolds Protocol, that’s how bad things are.

“I’ll put this someplace where I won’t forget it,” I say as I lose something forever.

Antiques Roadshow is appraising Pearl Jam concert posters so it is time for me to make a reservation at the graveyard

[a Swarm of Bees requests to be your friend] um ok [a Swarm of Bees has invited you to event "Come Outside"] what tha