Golden retrievers camping

Don’t even bother proposing to me unless you came prepared with the 5-piece potato ring

“what do you want to be for Halloween” i want to be lobotomized

He calls me zboxmoney like it’s my government name

it’s better to have yolo’d and yolost than to never have yolo’d at all

Ok me

justin herbert is the biggest football guy ever

We’ve got to take the Christ out of Christmas and just live mas

for all we know, we might not get tomorrow let’s do it tonight!

the real fire’s inside me. good luck putting it out

The next lap dance I give will be to Remember the Name by Fort Minor

Guys chill, I only do drugs when they’re free

my first bong rip was more special than my first kiss

can we pretend that chinese spy balloons in the night sky are shooting stars

Got my swag back

You see handcuffs on the bed, you think shit’s gonna get kinky then BOOM. Citizens arrest.