listen up there is nothing in this world that u deserve more than a bagel on a sunday. it is your god given right so go forth and eat a bagel

She’s a 10 but said “go MSU” when I said “go green”

im in the taco bell drive thru like “yes chef” “thank u chef”

my biggest financial mistake was being in 8th grade in 2009 when I should’ve been buying foreclosed real estate

“hey are you ok” no the days are getting shorter

if god isn’t real then explain the crunchwrap supreme

DOWN GOES ILLINOIS 😤 Michigan State takes the win in Champaign.

"santa isn't real" ok, I literally saw him at the mall

time to pick out a bottle of wine based on my rigorous process (cutest label at the cheapest price)

I have never come back from any holiday feeling relaxed, refreshed & reinvigorated to get back into work. I come back with the taste of freedom, still fresh in my mouth, a renewed hatred for work, and a strong suspicion that this is not what I should be spending my life doing.

Iykyk. 🫡🫡

I can’t believe the Eagles and Chiefs get to go to the Rihanna concert

This. This is why we live here. Knowing that there are hundreds of people in our community who support our rights and our humanity - I cannot explain what it means. Thank you, Royal Oak. #HateWontWin

when the starbucks app sends me a notification that my order is ready when i didn’t place an order

Everyone is on the Lions

the urge to say “so you hate me” when i don’t get my way

#MMSELFIE GO GREEEEN

For as long as I live, I will never understand how anyone could have chosen Trump over this.