as a chronically late girl I thank god every day for Black Tank Top and Jeans… I would be nowhere without u baby

experiencing brand new emotions at the age of 27 is ASS like what do u mean i’m not done learning about the breadth of the human experience have I not been through enough 😩

you would be genuinely shocked how many of my friends have had to be talked off the ledge of like “what if I accidentally look at the sun?” like do u often look directly at the sun? is that something you do? you’re not going to look

sunday night, the sun is barely down and my brain is already being so dramatic.. pls give it a rest garfield omg mondays are NOT that bad

based on these playlists u may see me on british news april 19th

sorry i’m laughing so hard ive never experienced an earthquake I thought the downstairs neighbors’ washer dryer was on the fritz

skill issue I am always both

growing increasingly concerned over how bad TTPD is going to hurt my silly little feelings

omg they gave me a blue checkmark for being “influential” on twitter. they have simply reinvented the original blue check i’m laughing so hard

the gag is that by explaining to a man how you’re better than another type of woman and labeling her a “pick me” you are in fact engaging in your own beautiful and unique pick me behavior. like a pick-me snowflake

idk why I always think coffee will make me more productive like objectively all it does is make me Worse

I love when the first of the month is a monday like yesssssss as it should be! really scratches an itch for me.