Maybe a magpie thinks to itself...

'Good morning, Mr. person'
if they see only one of us.

You don't know...

Confident people lift others up.

When the sun's behind the clouds

And when the sun is shining.

😊💜⛅🌞

people don’t tip toe through the tulips like they used to.

I am very good at throwing things away, and this includes people, so talk to me right.

There are two types of owls...🦉😅

But have you ever used common sense about it with a splash of self-awareness and a dash of intelligence

Occasionally, we all have to sell something to get ahead; just never let it be your soul

Sometimes I think I'm too much for people, but then I realize just maybe they aren't enough for me

Everyone says they love your scars until you show them

'Excuse me, do you have a moment to talk about our Lord and Saviour Godzilla?'

Oh i'm well aware I made it weird but it's part of my charm and it will happen again

if i’m in your twitter circle, welcome to rock bottom

Stop hating on lazy people. We didn't even do anything.

Teardrop tattoos but for bags of Doritos I’ve killed

Body: it’s sleepy time.

Brain: it’s thinky time.

sorry i’m late…i was trying to find my will to live

I think my problem may be that I'm both a 'perfectionist' and 'not very good.'

I wrote a book called
'Just tell her to calm down'

Chapter 1 - How he died

My son just told his girlfriend to calm down.

Should I tell him or let him learn?