Still cute 🤣

I believe in a soul-meant…for your specific growth at specific times

Grab my ass in public and kiss me or gtfo

This is now a meanie account.
↖️

How do you drink a truly? Over ice with a lime and add tequila

“I’ve got dreams to remember”

Things you can be sure of:
Death
Taxes
Users, abandoning people when the supply runs dry

Do you wear your wedding band and if not why?

Idk who needs to hear this but…put the pineapple on your fucking pizza

How is Margaritaville not a buffet?

Had a meeting today where we were supposed to identify one thing we wanted to start doing & one thing we wanted to stop doing.

Thank god I still have a job after I said I want to start vacationing & stop working.

Decided to run for a few minutes. My heart: either you stop or I’ll make you

Do we think the casket will fit better than the glove did?

6 years sober from Tide Pods. Can I get an amen?

Natural Light My time to shine!
#NattyMerchDrop
#Sweepstakes

if your penis looks like someone else's, is it called a dopple-wanger? 🧐

Maybe if you helped around the house more they wouldn’t be “too tired”

some people have never had their chakras aligned and it shows

It’s a damn shame oj outlived Norm. Today would have been wild.