Not to brag but I haven’t bought anything from Amazon in almost 3 hours

adipocere

Rent.

welcome to this app i guess

missionary so i can look at your dumb stupid fucking face

sorry I didnt answer I was on a scientific journey

I’ll be living my life unapologetically for the foreseeable future.

i’m a whore for that lovey dovey shit

I'm thinking of putting my will to live in a bag of rice overnight.

My goal is to do one thing each day that could prevent me from being elected to political office

I don’t have guilty pleasures because I don’t assign guilt to pleasure.

Normalize a 4 day work year

A Pavlovian response to the rattle of the Ibuprofen bottle.

TIP: If you drink a lot of water, you won’t have time for other people’s drama because you’ll be too busy looking for a bathroom.

If all else fails, pizza.

This picture makes me happy.

We’re allowed to change our mind, the more we discover and learn.

If it heals you, do it over and over again.

did u ever stare at a message & be like how am i supposed to reply to this ?????? bc same😂

Deep down. You know exactly where you stand with someone. Hope blurs the lines a bit but, you know.