Kristi Noem: *oversees illegal disappearance of POC and murder of Americans* Kristi Noem’s Husband:

BREAKING NEWS: Kristi Noem is stepping away from politics to spend time motorboating her husband.

Milwaukee, Wisconsin

do you think melania will hire erika kirk's pyrotechnics guy

Can I get a "C"?

Hey man, do you mind if we push this call til next week? I’m thinking one or both of us might die in the upcoming nuclear holocaust, which would pretty much solve this whole problem for us

No other candle scent is fucking with mahogany teakwood idc

Uber needs a "how did it smell?" option because it is getting ridiculous.😭😭🤚🏾

LITERALLY.... it smells like you've been smoking a pack of marb reds in here a day.... for the past 10 years....

Lamar Odom was on crack and still making it to practice with Kobe Bryant. I need to lock in and stop making excuses for my life.

Steve 🇺🇸

Thanks for coming back from Whistler Chelsea Handler xoxo

Is Chasten Glezman Buttigieg looking for a 3rd?

The fake urgency created in corporate life for absolutely no reason is one of the worst things humans have invented.

75 and sunny. Perfect day for sending emails

Beefing with a Pope from the south side of Chicago is legit crazy work

How do I block someone on Microsoft Teams?

Just saw someone say in-flight meals are terrible for many reasons. "Its like trying to eat a TV dinner on a rollercoaster..." I cackled out loud....

When a client emails me at 9:25am but I leave soon at 5pm

my sims after i just spent 5 hours decorating their new home.