I'll be your hamburger AND your helper

me anytime I see the moon

Cant stop because things and reasons

2 wolves? in this economy?

i lowkey wish a woodchuck would

it’s crazy they haven’t named a hurricane ‘kramer’ yet.

My HOA is two weeks away from developing a nuclear weapon

hamburger help us

Someone drilled a hole in that nudist colony fence. Police are looking into it.

don’t be like that your honor

The top of the fridge is none of my business

(flirting) i have rabies

Imagine the bill for Electric Avenue.

I’m not saying I never wash my truck. I’m saying there is moss growing on my headlights. I can’t see out of the back glass, and there’s a tiny pine tree growing in the bed. 🌱

And the chicken, is it jerked in house?

Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.

did you guys just feel that? i turned my swag on

you want me to touch grass? the earth's pubes?? how dare you.