Me sowing: Haha fuck yeah!!! Yes!! Me reaping: Well this fucking sucks. What the fuck.

[First sunset] HIM: HER: HIM: HER: HIM: HER: HIM: Is that… you think that’s a problem?

Friend: wanna play basketball later? Me: [has never played basketball before] sure Friend: i'll bring the ball Me: [nervous] ok cool [Later] Me: [pulls up with a basketball hoop strapped to the roof of my car] sorry I'm late

[me telling my story how I survived a plane crash and lived on a deserted island for a year] it was crazy [friend who once got a text from me where I accidentally called the grinch the grink] was the grink there?

Benoit Blanc talking to detective Pikachu in knives out 3: baw gawd you are some kind of yellow rodent ... mHmmm...

🟡

Not a concern in the world other than her tongue fitting in her mouth

My second mr. joshua 🧴🧴

Just the sweetest

It's once again the day of pi

Car manufacturers need to work on standardized wifi msging between nearby cars, im thinking something like pictochat on the DS, or maybe mariokart preset messages. Cut someone off, then send them a “im using tilt-controls!” over their radio.

Big skippy baby

"no rapping tonight" why? "you rap about patrick swayze everytime, it's embarrassing" ok [after one beer] uh oh y'all it's gettin kinda hazy

[Me to the second baseman after I slide into 2nd] Make sure u separate plastics & food waste [Coach from dugout] NOT THAT KIND OF TRASH TALK

YANKEE DOODLE: *sticks feather in his cap* This is called macaroni YANKEE DOODLE'S FRIEND: Ok, cool. Listen man, everybody's worried about u

C3PO's full name is charles post office post office post office