Some of you have never moved a dead body, and it shows.

The Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms probably has the best office parties.

I don’t expect everything handed to me, it can also be sent.

This entire day could've been an email.

My skill set is fine. It’s my will set that’s lacking.

Make sure you add a serious reply to someone’s joke on the internet today.

crazy how the very first sin was a woman who ate

I wish I loved anything as much as boomers love putting their phones on speaker in public.

not enough ppl die by poisoned hair pins these days,

if a job description says the candidate needs to be “tireless” i’m out

Being part of the problem means you’re halfway there.

it must be terrible to die knowing you probably had one more big crime left in you

'It has too many sides' and other reasons my kid won't eat what I gave them

My husband has some nerve commenting on my grey hair like he isn’t the cause at least half of them

my husband thinks i accepted his apology but wait until he sees that i rearranged the tool shed

When rich people choose a hill to die on it's usually Mount Everest.

Packing my kids’ school lunch in reverse order just to feel something

Wow. A lot of people hate orange juice.

The kids want to go camping so tonight we’re watching “Deliverance.”

How do i delete someone else's Facebook page