My good friends know better than to ever finish my sentences.

I toot my own horn mainly out of concern for hygienic safety.

You do your best thinking on thin ice.

I’d keep those cheap fake pearls of wisdom to yourself, lady.

You’re on my last nerve, I urge you to make the most of it.

If I made a #MCM list, it would stand for Must Cuddle Mutts, and would just be a list of dogs I want to snuggle with.

I’m looking at you Link ( The Beard Abides ) Hank ( Sooz ) Daisy ( @Erroneous_Me & Dollface ) Loki & Inca ( Cris ) Zha Zha & Greta ( BadFabergé ) Moose ( @mooses_mom_mar ) and of course SavoirFail 🇺🇦

I’ll have you know I happen to love the taste of my own medicine.

All the good mortal foes are taken.

As a Samaritan, I only score below average.

I just wanna run straight into your arms and never look back.

I’m gonna kick Friday right in the panty hamster. Hope you do too.

Sir, my eyes are down here. *points to the googly eyes glued to my bush*

A message from a Danish friend that really hit home: “Dear Americans, Look Inward I write this as a Dane, from Denmark. From here — and with Greenland very much in mind — it may appear that we fear the direction the United States is heading. And we do. But the truth is that you

LMFAO when you lay it out like this the absurdity is just STAGGERING.

Maya Plisetskaya, prima balerina Boljšoj teatre u jednoj od najboljih izvedbi umirućeg labuda, 1975. Čista perfekcija! ✨👏💙

A prayer of safety for all the animals facing human wars.

pros and cons of pot smoking: wait....wait...i just had it...

I fill every room with my presence. Like nerve gas.