it's 8/1! celebrate by eating one of something

“you hear about this?” i ask, not looking up from my newspaper, as my wife backs out the front door emptying a can of gasoline

🏀 :)

the boston celtics have won 18 NBA championships

Congratulations to the Boston Celtics, a team everyone loves and is happy for, on their NBA Finals victory. :)

I hate that the Celtics officially have more championships than us now 🙄

2024 WORLD CHAMPIONS 🏆

looking forward to a great debate tonight! both of these men have been president and deserve our respect :)

It would be wild if this was over Jodie Foster again

my first earthquake in the shower! not a fan!

we’re back baby

wait how do english people pronounce “tornado,” is it as funny as i imagine

wife said we couldn’t go to dave n busters so i lunged for the steering wheel

thunder is proof that god exists and hates dogs

pausing Mortal Kombat (2021) to explain Jax’s arms to my beautiful wife

(spending $75 on whatever) maybe this will fix it

sic semper tyra banks

what if marie kondo's next book is about how much she misses all her stuff

i understand that there is a loathsome character in the film “bugonia” with my full first and last name. i kindly ask that you respect my privacy at this deeply confusing time