Flying is cool because you get to stand in the TSA line and be mad about people not knowing to take their shoes off, and then you get to sit on the plane and be mad about people not knowing to keep their shoes on.

you could never make bee movie today there's too many bees in it

just submitted my packet for the democratic fundraising job

It’s a beer, Michael, how many equis could it possibly have?

Very much looking for freelance (or full time!) copywriting work if you know of any! I specialize in social and have agency experience. Here’s the ‘ole portfolio: ruddyportfolio.com

#NY SATURDAY we celebrate being the longest running live animated comedy show in #Brooklyn with Dylan Adler Myq (Parenthetical) Kaplan Nico Carney Nina Tarr Samantha Ruddy Jason Chatfield Bryan Brinkman Chrissy Fellmeth/IATSE/GAMEWORKERS.org Emily Flake & more!

4/27 Union Hall 7:30p
eventbrite.com/e/picture-this…

Well, was what came before it a little gay?

u ever tar and feather a guy and realize ur out of feathers so u just give it to him straight and say listen buddy. gonna be mostly tar today

My brain is broken it’s fine

me waiting for the list of production companies to stop before late night with the devil

Look at your keyboard. Now multiply it by 2. Subtract the original keyboard.
Think of a country that starts with keyboard. Now an animal. And a color. Is your answer keyboard? Thought so 😏

This is how you thrive in a corporate environment

KATE!!! I got to watch her work this out in Vermont and it’s stellar 🥳

Not a huge fan of the mean streak that seems to be running through a lot of standup comedy right now. Like no, you’re not too edgy for the room…you’re unlikeable and off putting. Oh shit, was this mean?

I hate when you’re going through the drive-thru and they split it up into two lanes. There’s enough division in this country as it is.

Regardless of your feelings on Taylor Swift, I think we can all agree that any other artist dropping new music today is essentially choosing for their birthday to be on Christmas.

Comedy in 2014: you don’t want to get seen too early!

Comedy in 2024: aw man I should’ve started posting TikToks when I was 7