so COVID has canceled everything about our regular lives including hugs and eating outside of our homes but the one thing it HASNT managed to destroy is the 895th season of the bachelor?

if you hear me telling the same story twice just let it go. i only have like six memories and they all take turns

So as some of you know, we're not allowed to show highlights of games on ESPN. So with the UMD-UMass game only in the second intermission, I had to improvise with the "highlights":

Am I detail-oriented or do I just have anxiety

Lawn equipment companies coming in clutch with puns at the Minnesota State Fair. “There’s so much mower” “So mulch power”

Tweet aged well.

My birthday AND it’s a bones day. Everyone celebrate.

Have a Valentine’s Day bar crawl and call it the Cupid Shuffle

Midwest meditation is slipping on the ice and just laying there for a bit

Yeah but what does WebMD say about quarantine and isolation

Romance isn’t dead but it’s frantically searching for its life alert

Rambunctiously

When I grow up I wanna be a gun

There’s something about being out of breath after climbing 3 flights of stairs to buy a bag of Cheetos from the vending machine.

“Gotta get crack a-lackin’ before I can get a-packin’” Some girl stated that this morning before finishing up at work and clocking out. Unclear who the girl was. Really, no idea. I bet she’s super funny though.

Happy Humidifier Season to all who celebrate

My biggest accomplishment in 2022 was learning how to spell boulvard

Have we thought about just asking Canada to stop adding wood to the fire?

We've got ourselves a bullDAWG 😤 With the 36th pick in the 2024 PWHL Draft, PWHL Toronto select Forward Anneke Linser from Djurgårdens IF.

Despite popular opinion, I am not a princess. Just found out I slept on a Qtip all night. Decidedly larger than a pea.