I bet most of you fuckers don’t return your grocery carts to the designated areas.

I’m starting to wonder if my husband never picks up his crap just so he can see me bending over more often

Welcome to the 21st century, where the selfies are filtered but the stupid thoughts aren’t

Dear responsibilities, I am hereby resigning in my role as an adult effective immediately. Sincerely, Go fuck yourself

Behind every crazy bitch is a sweet girl that just got sick of everyone’s shit.

7 (reading book): what word is e-y-e-s Me: what is it? 7: e-y-e-s Me: sounds weird. I’ll look in a second . . 7: Mommy it’s ‘eyes’ Me:🤦🏻‍♀️

She believed she could, but she was really tired so she didn’t #parenting #momlife

When your 7yo tells you she smelled through the bathroom door to know if you were done 🤦🏻‍♀️

#MomsAreAllowedTo DO WHATEVER THEY WANT BECAUSE THEY ARE THE MOMS AND MAKE THE RULES . . . . . . . she cried into her coffee while sitting on the potty with three kids staring at her.

#MomsAreAllowedTo BE SEXY

#BreakTheStigma #MentalHealthMom #ADHDmom #StopStigma

If you don't believe a child has a future, why believe in anything?

Welcome to parenthood. I hope you like ibuprofen! #parenthood #momsquad

Patience and Parenting are two words that will never be in the same sentence in our house

Worry less about the fact that your kids don’t listen and more about the fact that they are always WATCHING you.

It’s ok to want your kids to be successful, but don’t let that success be a substitute for their values ❤️

5 days into Summer break and I’m ready to hang my kids by their toenails. #parenting #teenyears

Great parents love to scare the shit out of their kids. I mean, it’s in the parenting handbook.

@Insomnia_Land Ohio mom of two 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ #BLM @campfireburning A Bearer Of Dad News The Dad Briefs @tiredmama99 Momsense Ensues 𝙳.𝙰.𝙳. 🐧 WishfulWeirdo @jaxwax04 Mom Jeans Dad Fiction @LicensedtoDad @daddydoubts @IrishIsRsmiling Kelli_Elyn Caffeinated Crazy☕🇦🇺 Mummy on a Break

Sometimes I wish I was a bird so I could fly over certain people and shit on their heads.