twitter is cigarette for the eyes

fuck my life. the local bridge troll just found out about toll booths. he’s set up on the interstate stopping each car until they answer his riddles. traffic is absolutely fucked im gonna be so late to work dude god dammit

anything is allowed to be a little out of character if it gives me a boner

this is like asking for tips on how to run through a brick wall

oh my god i just realized this year was the 10 year anniversary of gerard way live posting the milk fic

So done with twitter, see u all in two minutes

what do i have to do to get a non z*onist non flyers fan democrat to run against shapiro for governor in the primaries in 19 days

part of his duties btw #varka

You can stop tagging the FBI under this. They've seen it, they just can't afford to drive over here now.

It’s always “you’re autistic” and never “thank you for telling me everything you know about Batman”

COMING SOON:

Do u wanna come over and lay in bed like the grandparents from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory