I can't speak for the younger generations, but I saw most of the preceding movies, went to Endgame, thought 'that movie was actually about as well done as it could possibly have been, really impressive,' and have never had even the tiniest desire to see another one since

I'm reading about medieval Gaelic personal names and apparently the name BEAN is a diminutive or pet form of MACBETH. Which has frankly huge implications for Shakespeare and Mr Bean.

business tip.

INSTEAD OF SAYING
“i work from home”: weak, lazy, does not sound productive

SAY
“i practically live at the office”: a real go-getter, dedicated to the grind, a worker bee

I hope this email finds you-

Waldo: *slams laptop shut* holy fuck that was close

new trademark fair use hypo just dropped

Hats off to the people at Amazon, who have clearly heard my new book is about the UK property market and categorised it as:

This is very sincerely the dream of everyone who has gone to law school since 1992.

To the girl on the ScotRail train who's just taken her shoes and socks off and has her bare feet on the seat... I hope you get quick treatment for whatever absurd foot based illnesses you're going to pick up

They should do this at every job. If I knew any mistake I made was gonna be torn apart by a group of teenage girls I’d never fuck up again.

The new hate crime bill is a gift, it's generated absolute gold like this woman who won't come here for a pizza incase she accidentally hate crimes during dessert. I need more.

People are being very weird about this, it genuinely sucks that you now need to sign up for a loyalty scheme at every supermarket you visit in order to get realistic prices, and that you need a bespoke phone app to do it

When someone wants to ‘jump on a call’ after I’ve written a thorough and detailed email

ten years as an antiquarian, hearing nothing but 'my relative kept these untouched in a box their whole life but they died, and I don't want this stuff' has radicalized me. annotate the books. use the china. wear the clothes until they wear out. your life should not be a museum

FREE BOOKS: I have a dozen proof copies of A Beginner's Guide To Breaking And Entering to give away! Just RT this tweet before Friday 12th April at 12 noon, when I will pick not one, not two, but TWELVE winners to receive their free signed and dedicated copy!

so the Tories have used images of:

An F-35, a US fighter jet
The *cough* Eurofighter
An unelected PM
The England team (which doesn’t represent Britain)
A cargo ship registered in Panama
Aston Martin, the main shareholders of which are led by a Canadian billionaire

i stan this breathtakingly simple out of office reply that says, in its ghostly entirety, 'i am OOO.'

The fact that it's so easy to confuse etymology and entomology is just one of those linguistic bugs

I once met an aspiring choir conductor who said that he 'didn't feel comfortable' around gay people, which is sort of like being an aspiring fisherman with a crippling fear of boats