the Denver Nuggets and Cincinnati Reds both don't suck right now and it's freaking amazing. usually being a sports fan is constant pain - now is an exception and i'll take it!

Para mi siguiente truco voy a necesitar papitas y una coca de vidrio.

No one:

My cat at 4:12 am: These curtains are stupid, I’m taking them down

Elly De La Cruz - Cincinnati Reds (6)

still probably my crowning achievement

If you accidentally get off the elevator at the wrong floor, you must walk around the hallway before getting back on, otherwise people might think you’re an idiot

first they raised the price of a mcdouble from $1.19 to $1.39 and i said nothing. and then they raised the price to $2.19 and i said nothing. now its $3.19 and i still haven’t spoken up yet but you get the point

Still thinking this was the move

#B4L

💀

twitter: schools are pushing our kids to be sexual deviants!! 😡

also twitter: this ad is fine because capitalism

okay i am not easily scammed or spooked or anything like that. but be honest. when you're doing a myers briggs test. how much blood is it normal for them to take

she said 'i've got two beers and a fistful of downs, and i'm gonna get ripped, so fuck you clowns!'

can't we all just get along, you stupid piece of shit

Next time you're listening to Primus, pay attention to the bass guitar

god forbid men have hobbies

If you get a parking ticket, save the little envelope that comes with it. Whenever you park somewhere, just slide the envelope in your car door or under the window and you get free parking.

Financial planning is my passion