I can tell the queen of diamonds, by the way she shines… ⚡️

100% forgot I ordered these a month ago after doing a dab for the first time in 3 years

Meow Meow is officially a member of our family, after four years of flying under the radar(legally).

My dipshit landlord has also dropped any and all bullshit about evictions and non-lease renewal to keep a discrimination suit off his record.

If you get a parking ticket, save the little envelope that comes with it. Whenever you park somewhere, just slide the envelope in your car door or under the window and you get free parking.

Financial planning is my passion

Last night was one of the best shows I’ve seen UM play in the last 10 years. Equipment failure caused an hour delay and led to them playing until almost 1am.

Anyway, I’ve already driven home, done two loads of laundry, bought groceries and new work boots.

What an awesome wknd.

My 80th UM show tonight featuring my special socks from my husband Ms. Darth Mike’s Hair⚡️

We believe there’s something here worth dying for…

Current work in progress 👀👀👀👀👀

See you all in Minneapolis this weekend 🖤🖤

Pretty fucking excited for a three-night run this weekend.

Tonight my youngest kid has a musical program at school, then I’m off to Minneapolis Friday/ Saturday for a few nights of friends, fam and Umphreys

Also got a call for a 6 month job today. Everything’s coming up Zach.

This is arguably the best song I will ever write

open.spotify.com/track/5fPKjCDB…

My 14yr old has taken to designing commissioned artwork for local dive bars in northern Minnesota

SPLIT OPEN AND MELT OR GO FUCK YOURSELF

You know who didn’t have an earthquake? Minnesota. You fucking noobs

Widespread doesn’t get nearly enough love on here and that’s sad

Listen to the river sing sweet songs, to rock my soul

Some Ween. #musicmondaze

Happy opening day.

Here’s a double stack of all beef cheddar dogs on a New York garlic breadstick bun. 🌭⚾️🌭

My wife: please don’t get high before we go to my parents house.

Me at the parents house:

If you ever hear me say I am in love or have a special lady friend just know it’s an immediate cry for help and ask me two blink two times if I’m alright

Hey #LA - the day is finally here it’s ⁦Umphrey's McGee⁩ tonight ⁦The Bellwether⁩. Doors 7, 2 sets of UM at 8:30, tix at the door.

Repost and help us spread the word, tonight is gonna be a a wild show. See you all soon!

I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad…

(I’m not sad please don’t blow my phone up with wellness checks 🖤)