Nothing gives me as much anxiety as watching old people walk up and down stairs in a stadium.

TWO DOWN!!
TWO TO GO!!

Anyone else have that feeling of not wanting to go to bed but simultaneously not wanting to ever get out of it? Issa mood.

Just give grace. People are exhausted from life right now.

illusions of you fade a bit more every day.

you sir are too nice for this place.

no not you, heathen

You use so much energy finding something to be mad about… what if you used that same energy to find something to be happy about?

we need more waterballoon fights in our lives

can someone come check my mail and take out my recycling and rub icy hot down my spine and buy me a big mac 😭

Yeah I ball hard, excuse me no, I mean I bawl hard.

y’all serious as fuck and it makes twitter super fun.

I always fucking hope people get their fucking happily ever afters

...or happy endings, whatever

*wants to cause a ruckus, needs to take a nap.

Dogs would rather frolic with grizzly bears than go to therapy.

Only in Canada…

Twitter during that Bronco chase would have been gold

there's no better sound than hard rain

Never look at an insect under a microscope if you want to be able to fall asleep ever again.

The real urge to sell it all and find your adventure.