This Friday, we leave the beach behind for the night life. Get ready for our review of the #baywatchnights series premiere.

I just heard my new husband Bill Tilley say “Your butt is hot!” The cat,I am sure,is very flattered.

Convo with my new husband: Me-So Superman vs Vampire? Him-Superboy. Me-They are exactly the same. Him-😤 Apparently the distinction between boy and man is Super important to Bill Tilley

Carving pumpkins with my new husband Bill Tilley. So “almost done” is 30 to 60 minutes.

I see my new husband Bill Tilley has become my self-appointed twitter hype man. Perhaps he just needs a job as a social media director somewhere.

I told my new husband Bill Tilley that breakfast will be ready in 3 minutes. He decided to take a shower. SMH

I can 💯 recommend Bill Tilley giving a MJ impression. Bonus- it includes pelvic thrust and crotch grab.

Convos with my new husband Bill Tilley- Me -If you could do it all over again, what would you change? Him- I would have tried to be competitive on a BMX

Convo with my new husband Bill Tilley - El Dorado should have nipples. I have nipples. Supernips- stays abreast of the situation, points out the obvious without seeming useless

I don’t know what to think. Bill Tilley washed the dishes, dried his hands, went to the bathroom and washed his hands.

Coco the cat is trying to catch a fly. Bill Tilley he is channeling Mr Miyagi. It’s just an act that he has no balance.

Watched my new husband repeatedly tell the cat to move off of his chest. I then watched him repeatedly puff breaths of air at her backside. Is he full of hot air or just blowing sunshine up her a$$?

Convo with my new husband Bill Tilley - he does a chore he loathes, looks to me and calls himself a hero. He is helpful. But hero?

Convo with my new husband Bill Tilley Him looking very excited : You promise to doodle me one day? Me: I will absolutely doodle you! Life has changed for the Tilley’s

My new husband Bill Tilley believes I am the nunja ninja. I really can’t say why.

My new husband Bill Tilley doesn’t like bread heels but likes buns. I say buns are just fancy heels. Now we have bread drama(trauma).

My new husband Bill Tilley is ever vigilant (vigilante) for the open closet door. I hear him muttering the necronomicon chant.

A glimpse into Tilley life. My new husband Bill Tilley hates the future. At least that is what he is muttering at an uncooperative smart tv.