Babe my only issue with you is that you’re the worst person I’ve ever met in my life. That’s it I swear

“bro stop, I don’t wanna play” my dog:

I’m sure sleeping in is nice but being the only one awake in a quiet house drinking coffee by the Christmas tree is elite.

PSA: If you have a cold/flu there is no holy grail of otc products.... they will help but nothing will cure you... you're still going to have a sore throat,nasal congestion,cough.... #TwitteRx #flu

bro how tf do you block team snapchat

Fuck a BBL I want LASIK eye surgery. Bítch I just wanna see 😩

when’s the last time u blew into a dandelion and made a wish? and u wonder why ur life is shit

me recharging for 6 months after going out one Saturday night

me & the loml in 50 years time

friendly reminder that leaving your sharps behind for a nurse to clean up is unsafe and also just kind of mean

Which would you rather have? A $10,000/year pay increase A slightly warm slice of pizza in the break room

Wow!! Affirmative action, something I have spoken out against for the last 7 years, has FINALLY been struck down in a historic Supreme Court ruling. This is a MAJOR WIN in the strive for racial equality, removing the bigotry of low expectations against black students, while

shrek is a masterpiece. it’s in it’s own category. it’s untouchable. ahead of it’s time. glorious. shrek haters are faking it. i just know it.

Chief complaint: “Indigestion” Medicine is hard. Stay humble.

Remember when the flu went on vacation for over a year and then came back when 'covid' disappeared? That was cool. Science.