At 36, I can say that the general public will treat you 4x better if you wear mascara and lip color. Just the way it is. Easy effort and big payoff.

ah yes, the real five love languages: - touch starved -my parents never said they were proud of me - i love Things - i’m so exhausted by life pls let me rest for 5 mins - hey pay attention to me

going on a 2-4mi walk-and-talk several times a week is something my husband and I have been doing as a baseline thing for 5 years now. Can't recommend it enough, real two-birds stuff

In this house The Lumineers are heroes! End of story!

Remote workers getting ready for their one day in the office

A lot of men can’t run a household for the same reason they can’t run their own business. They need instructions. They want a list. They want someone else to hold the system while they ‘help’. That makes them perfect employees. They’re more eager to submit to superiors, they

Women are out here sharing live locations, checking the backseats of cars, and holding their hands over their drinks. Men are doing 3 hour podcasts about how unfair it is that we don't smile at them. The disconnect is fatal.

Get the Shark / the Dyson, I swear I can show my salary increases in relation to how much effort I put into my twice weekly blowouts

My bestie and I did a 5 mile walk on Sunday and it flew by for the yapping!

Normal people: don’t be friends with your coworkers Me: two of my female colleagues told me they loved me with their whole chests ❤️💕💘🥰

You’re not polygamous ,you just need two people to love you at the same time because your parents didn’t.

Joe Rogan showing up to the White House after spending a month claiming to be politically homeless

nigga told me “Scottsdale is great if you like lip filler and cocaine”….uh well yeah that’s exactly wtf I like, nigga.

In your charity, say a prayer for the car salesman working with my husband today. They did not wake up prepared for today. 🙏

This does look cool but I think you have to be somewhat mentally ill to do it

My ClassPass history and number of hours played in stardew valley disagree!

“Be a good Catholic for fifteen fucking minutes” is one of the most underrated lines in the whole series

The last thing you see before “in keeping with the 7th tradition”