humans really had the creative freedom to make any reality they wanted and we chose racism and credit scores

Losing your jewelry is a different kind of hurt

if you hear me telling the same story twice just let it go. i only have like six memories and they all take turns

my answer to the question “would you like a receipt” is based on absolutely nothing and changes all the time

Me, every time Seth Rogen tweets, “I made these vases”

who tf decided to call it “emotional baggage“ and not “griefcase” ???

Out of curiosity, did you think they had trained dragons on scene?

think what you want about mcdonald’s but you’re lying if you say a big mac doesn’t absolutely slap

i made one

sojo

i either dress like a baddie or like adam sandler

i can now officially say I’m a crisis counselor 😭 big girl jobs are fun

Anyone who made fun of me for being ginger isn’t allowed to have any fun this weekend

oklama.com

Gunna make sure I fire up a shamrock shake this year! #ForgotLastYear