dogs love barking at me like 1000ft from their house. what are you a land surveyor. you don't know what a property line is bitch shutup

happy hispanic heritage month

I was offline for 16 hours and now the word “fitphobic” is on my timeline. When I tell you I hate y’all from the bottom of my spirit to the top of my scalp.

Who made this? 😭

if i dont have a yummy treat every couple of hours my condition worsens

batman has the most terrifying villains… the penguin… omg. and what about the guy who does a bunch of riddles. what the fuckkkk. and a guy who jokes around … not cool

When President Clinton banned assault rifles in 1994, mass shootings dropped by 43%. After Republicans let the ban expire in 2004, they increased by 243% — please don’t tell me bans don’t work, because I don’t want to hear it.

him: don’t move I’m bout to get the towel me:

I just saw this video of Barney I'd never seen before and I've been cackling the last 11 minutes