He’s nothing like JFK, who was famously amazing at being shot

Meet 🐸JIMMY AND BABY🐸
Full 20 min cartoon by me and Paul Robertson out now!
youtu.be/zFbJ94jC1hc?si…
vimeo.com/938105752

getting really into film scores is awesome: what if every time one of your favorite artists released a new album you got to hear it for the first time on theater-sized speakers. feels like a no brainer for a creative hobby

AAA is king of the junk mail. Once a week I get an envelope that looks like divorce papers and inside it’s like “time to split… with roadside anxiety”

I hope this works

Thanks for inviting me over man. Nice place. (pulling out my Zoom H5) Cool if I get a few minutes of room tone?

just had a powerful coffee and am walking around feeling like a really stupid version of the terminator. Scanning around me and the readout is just like:
Guy
Another guy
Chair
Pigeon (bird)

a guy got removed from our flight today and it's incredible how much it brought us all together. they should kick one person off every flight to build cohesion and morale for the passengers and crew. they can be a paid actor or whatever, they just have to cause a scene

Frog-mouth is so good if you’re an evil knight. I also think the kettle hat is the best “killed instantly” headwear ever made. every medieval and fantasy thing I’ve ever seen, the kettle hat guy is always the first to get absolutely fucked on

get frogged. idiot

Imagine waking up after being shot and the first thing you see is Steven Seagal pretending to be a doctor

The entire EarlyBirds subreddit is all failsons who have recently learned how to get up at a normal time. I love it

Netsuke in the Form of a Puppy, by Ohara Mitsuhiro, mid 19th century, Walters Art Museum

sydney sweeney needs to get a more toxic fanbase asap. too many people saying too much weird stuff about her. they all need a reply from an stan account with her as the pfp, posting photos of the OPs home

Eating some bleak soup.. Its green and quite putrid: )

if I was a horned animal fighting another male for a mate and I lost, I would just go up to one of the females after and be like “I won.” They don’t even watch

I quit drinking 10 years ago today!

my son is watching True Detective and going on about loops. i don’t like it. a straight line from past to present to future. that’s good honest Christian time

Dentists have the highest suicide rate so I’m discretely checking in on mine. I’ll tell him I’m writing a novella about a guy that’s going to kill himself but I can’t think of how he’d do it. Then I ask, “do you have a plan?”

Every industry has been taken over by a guy that's like, “Oh, that thing that's made life a little less unbearable for multiple generations? I'm shutting it down to increase profits by 2% for a single quarter”