I’m crying. He doesn’t even know about war

why aren't we milking electric eels for electricity

What’s stopping the target employees from picking me up by my arms and legs and tearing me apart

your email has found me cold and shamed, lying naked on the floor

I KEEP BEING CALLED AN OATHBREAKER FOR HAVING SEX. NO WHERE IN MY OATH DID I PROMISE TO BE A LOSER

"your body knows what it wants" well my body wants 55 burgers 55 fries 55 tacos 55 pies 55 cokes 100 tater tots 100 pizzas 100 tenders 100 meatballs 100 coffees 55 wings 55 shakes 55 pancakes 55 pastas 55 peppers and 155 taters

A perfect pilot would land the plane

Pharaohs were buried with their arms across their chest because of the ancient belief that there would be countless water slides in the after life.

Bibliotecas maravillosas.

my last bg3 playthrough i accidentally pissed gale off without meaning to and he literally left my camp permanently . and i was like Oh No what am i gonna do without a Loser that asks if he can eat all of my enchanted weapons and armor

"i hate you" is boring and overused. "i hope Craig Mazin adapts your favorite video game" is possible, its terrifying.

[at the bar] yeah that’s my boy over there. he’s a little evil but he’s cool [sees him making hand signs while muttering an incantation to himself] excuse me for a second

if my parents told me they were adopting a brother and brought home an anthropomorphic rat named Stuart i would fucking lose it

xander harris

There may have been a few miscalculations on The Lobster’s part.

I do think we live in a political landscape akin to the plot of several single digit Final Fantasy games. This is a bad thing.

Your parents at 25:
• Married
• House
• 2 kids
• Stable career You at 25:
• 1 pilgrimage to Zanarkand
• 8 aeons called forth 
• 16 times sending souls of the dead to the Farplane • 1 imaginary boyfriend 
• 32 practice runs for the Final Summoning… Show more

Project Hail Mary WILL make you fall in love with a rock

You have no idea how much it means for me to have the opportunity to save the Earth with the guy who lambasted James Cameron for using Papyrus.

acabei de descobrir que foi a chappell roan que abandonou o charmander do ash na chuva