64 AD, putting a sticker on my chariot that says “I bought this before Nero went crazy”

my AI girlfriend cheated and gave me a computer virus

everyone busy issuing statements like they are sovereign citizens running their own press office. just the funniest age.

remember being a teenager and hoping your hot teacher was a pedophile

Impressive... the sophisticated television-addict children have abandoned the tyranny of specificity and verisimilitude, and attempt instead to render the figure qua Figure, the body 𝘪𝘯 𝘴𝘦.

We must become more Chinese

Told my doctor I was depressed and he asked me if I’d thought about killing myself. Hell of a piece of medical advice but here goes nothing

I will vote for any party which bans the promotion of Christmas until 1 Dec

this space is called the “Sigma’s Path” and it allows those graceful and freewilled to pass unmolested any and all slowstepping tourist chuds

mitski has joined the war against seasonal depression on the side of seasonal depression

if I go down on a girl thinking she's wearing boxers and pull her pants down to reveal panties I'm leaving

Doing this to my boyfriend when he does his chinese accent im front of my woke girl friends

time to choose a halloween costume! first things first: what is my relationship to my gender sexuality and body

Happy now, you spooky season leaf crunch fetishising pumpkin spice perverts?

every day for the last several months has felt like this

Lmaooo living by the sword is so dope. I hope this lifestyle doesn't have any consequences for me later on