when he says "how was your shift" instead of "quit your job so i can spoil you princess"

just learned in psychology that when a man goes to sleep first it's bc he’s comfortable around you and wants you to go thru his phone

Just a reminder that the money being spent on Trump’s ego parade could feed every single homeless veteran in America for more than four months.

"boys don’t cry" not true. you just don’t know how to make them cry, all of mine cried.

i’m pretty chill as far as insane women go

hey so this is fucking crazy

how it feels to say “girl fuck you” to a man

real

Trump didn’t even acknowledge MLK Day. No statement. No tribute. Nothing. That’s not a mistake. That’s the point.

i’m not jealous of anybody, except stay at home wives of wealthy men

You’re telling me this Nissan went rogue

weed should be treated more like wine and less like heroine ..

People don't think grass be wet in the morning, but it dew.

So crazy when a parent of a gay child is homophobic. U made a gay person. Ur literally the gay source. Ur the carrier of gay. Ur the gay factory

if my wife stabbed me id thrust myself deeper into the blade just to be a few inches closer to her but thats just me idk

I went through the chick fil a drive through bawling and the girl asked me if I wanted a chocolate or vanilla milkshake. And I was like no I ordered a sweet tea and she goes "no honey you need a milkshake" Service: unmatched

being out with someone who also has social anxiety cancels mine out because u not finna have us out here looking stupid wtf we have to take turns!!

sometimes I want to be skinnier but then I remember that body types are kind of like dog breeds and if im a corgi who wants to lose weight to look like an italian greyhound that won’t make me look like an italian greyhound it’ll just make me look like a sick ugly corgi so nvm

I don’t think pregnant women should have to do anything, actually. Like you are making eyeballs in your body. You got enough going on.