he’s absolutely right btw

how am i supposed to be cozy and curled up in bed all month if i have a job

It's a cracking day for going out and just Getting In The Way™ you know. Go to the supermarket, stand in front of the milk for ages, reach for the same bag of parsnips at the same time as someone else, leave your trolley sideways across the aisle.

you actually won’t get an upset stomach from taco bell if you’re pure of heart and have good intentions

i am both the jester and the queen

Zohran Mamdani I am willing to privately send you my new album if we can get the horse carriages banned from Central Park

my greatest flaw is that I will try any specialty lemonade. 90% of them are nearly undrinkable but I persevere

“They aren’t here legally!” I do not give a shit. Genuinely. You couldn’t pay me to care.

You want me to care that Taylor Swift called a man a bitch?? Something I do everyday??

We got a BIG donation of marshmallows and peanuts (Thank you Mr. Rajamurthy) and the bears were very appreciative, and enabled us to make this adorable video. (Yes, marshmallows are a favorite treat for them - bears love all things sweet - and of course not part of their daily

"this isn't about politics anymore, it's about basic human rights" girl what do you think politics has been about ever??

one of the hard parts about pet loss is everyone expecting you to go back to normal so fast. Idk they can all keep waiting for that day I guess but I will literally never be the same again

idgaf if valentine’s is a made up holiday to make money i definitely do need everything i own to be heart shaped

I’m fucking addicted to blanket and bed

i think women should get meaner actually

how it feels knowing i’ll never fall for a misogynistic smear campaign because i use critical thinking and am aware of how the media treats women

When I’m nice to bugs I hope they go and tell all of their bug friends about the kindness of a pleasant stranger

fatty Donald J. Trump