“Hey check this shit out” *Tries to do the Akira bike slide on a horse only to result in the horse violently breaking all of its legs*

I’m made of whatever they could find

Let me drink from the pump at the gas station #LetMeDrinkFromThePumpAtTheGasStation

Ohh! :D The sky is so pretty I'VE NEVER SEEN IT SO 000ooo/ 01001000 01000101 01001100 01010000 ...---... >ERROR 404: ARASHI.exe CANNOT BE FOUND >DISC CORRUPTED >UNABLE TO SAVE TO MEMORY

I think my computer has a virus :(

one of my buddies can read barcodes just from looking at em. sometimes he cracks up at the stuff they say

relax while i study ur resilience in a mildly hostile environment

Always important to remember that a lot of these robots are "faking" the humanlike motions -- its a property of how they're trained not an inherent property of the hardware. They're actually capable of way weirder stuff and way faster motions.

(training new hire) so, customers are our enemy but we aren't allowed to kill them, and that's where you come in

shooting a gun in the air to get everyone's attention then immediately getting shy and sheepishly twisting my shoe in the dirt and blinking bashfully

(customer service voice) i'd be happy to 'Kill This Guy' for you

sometimes i think you're just using me for my metal fist that can crush bone

my friend: [snapping fingers at group of strangers] yo, check out what my boy’s got going on. cmon, show em me: [playstation voice] play-station

(having esoteric knowledge psychically beamed directly into my mind from an unknowable dimension) ohhh okay then:)

(threateningly) i want to collect rocks with you.

the wizard tossed a red orb into the next room that flashed and instantly vaporized all the bandit’s flesh and organs. we went in and their skeletons are just stood there, i’m so out of my fucking league bro

killing the nicest waiter at the restaurant to establish dominance