One of the Monkees once told me that looking at Medusa would *actually* turn you into a baby semiaquatic rodent, but I had my doubts. Then I saw her face, now I'm a wee beaver.

Darth Vader wanted to kill Solo but didn't have the necessary Han die coordination.

#StarWarsDay

Once pined a Jedi named Yoda
That inclined his way of speaking
To titter his friends
Which bitter made him
And his limericks rhymed none of

#StarWarsDay

One of the Monkees once told me that looking at Medusa would *actually* turn you into a baby semiaquatic rodent, but I had my doubts. Then I saw her face, now I'm a wee beaver.

[Psychiatric Consultation]
- I can't stop likening fish to apparel that farm animals might wear.
- I see... *holding up pictures of fish* Do any of *these* remind you of anything?
- *This* plaice looks like a pig's tie.
- I do apologise, the cleaner is off sick at the moment.

Drip, drip, drop, little April 'Highlights'..!
pauleggleston.wordpress.com/2024/04/30/apr…

Drip, drip, drop, little April 'Highlights'..!
pauleggleston.wordpress.com/2024/04/30/apr…

- Ever since I started this new diet, it hurts when I break wind. But not all the time.
- Intermittent fart sting?
- No, low carbs.
#LunchPun

Just saw a werewolf carrying a roof beam. He must have thought something was funny, he was howling with rafter.

Absolutely despairing at the moment. I just heard that an old girlfriend has a throat infection, which gave me a feeling of ex's tonsil dread.

My wife and I can't agree on appropriate gardening attire. But she's digging in her heels.

I'm not saying I can't be convinced that an extended dry period would be usual for this time of year, but you'll have to prove it beyond all seasonable drought.

Paul Eggleston You’ll only be out briefly then

My favourite event at the Tea Drinkers' Olympics is the Decaf Oolong.

It's Stingy Anaesthetists Club today. That came around quickly.

Before you judge me for using a famous Chinese-American chef's range of liquid fat (slightly heated) in my profiterole recipe, you should try warm Ken Hom oil in my chouxs.

Short form poet from
East Mids takes statins due to
Haiku Leicester role

#LunchPun

Who called it a licence to own small amphibians and not Permit the Frog.

Short form poet from
East Mids takes statins due to
Haiku Leicester role

#LunchPun

We had to evacuate the office today to the tune of 'Boogie Wonderland'.
Someone had set off the Earth, Wind & Fire alarm.