BREAKING: Donald Trump fell asleep at court again today, and farted audibly while the judge was answering juror questions.

Ted Cruz is now taking credit for a major Semiconductors project that he voted against which will create thousands of high paying jobs in Texas. Story … meidastouch.com/news/ted-cruz-…

I believe Ted meant: “Thank you, President Biden, for signing the CHIPS Act, which I stupidly voted against.”

Senator Cruz voted against the CHIPS and Science Act, which was the legislation that made these investments.

Goldman: They want chaos in order to win an election. You don’t have to take my word for it, let’s quote Trump who said he sabotaged the deal to secure the border because ‘it made it much better for the opposing side.’

What a joke. This whole thing is a hoax.

Clarence Thomas didn’t show up to work today. Didn’t work remotely, as they are able to. Reports say that he frequently leaves court, falls asleep, writes incredibly short dissenting opinions on important cases, and just lacks effort. He doesn’t want to be there. He doesn’t…

There's no court activity scheduled that day dipshit

👇👇👇

That is not what due process means. Are we sure she went to law school? That’s taught like week one.

Just a U.S. Senator calling for vigilante violence

Former Trump aide Griffin: The fact that Trump’s own former Vice President is not backing him is not getting enough attention. That is historic. That is a big deal. He knows that Trump is unfit

I’ll explain.

Dear Barron,

Your father will not attend your graduation.

Not because he’s on trial for 34 felony charges in New York.

Not because he tried to hide his dalliance with a porn star while your mother was pregnant with you.

Not because he’s been denied leave by…

Fanfuckingtastic! More of this, please.

THREAD: Good morning! Oral arguments are about to begin in Fischer v US. This is the case about the interpretation of Title 18 USC 1512c2 Obstructing an Official Proceeding. I'm going to do my best to live tweet the arguments. 1/

When President Biden works from his Delaware home, Republicans lose their minds

When Secretary Austin was hospitalized with cancer, they raised hell

Now when Clarence Thomas doesn’t show up for court & doesn’t say why, Republicans don’t say a damn thing

Double standards, much?

Trump is mad that he can't attend the graduation of the son Melania was pregnant with when he cheated on her with a witness in his criminal trial.

Called her own shot

Elon's a dipshit