Wanting to be funny is a disease. Why am I spending 30 minutes trying to think of a clever wifi name for my neighbors to see?

wait this ain’t normal behavior? 😳

TO THE TRAEOFFS #BelieveAtlanta

just texted her “i miss you” to interrupt that healing process

I hope that even my worst critics remain on Twitter, because that is what free speech means

Happy Mother’s Day to my first true love ♥️ I’ll love u for a thousand lifetimes mom 🥺

I never get on Facebook so I decided to go see my profile and realized that friends I haven’t seen in years have been wishing me happy birthday on my timeline for the past 4 years 🥲 sorry I didn’t get back to yall but that’s love fr. Just know I appreciate all of you ❤️

Sometimes you gotta spend a bag on yourself to help you get accustomed to working hard for the finer things in life 🤷‍♂️

Turns out we underestimated how many of you love Mexican Pizza. 7x more than we expected, to be exact. We are working as fast as we can to restock Mexican Pizza ingredients. We’ll need some time to replenish our supplies, but when it comes back, we promise it’s here to stay.

MacBooks are too expensive for this shit to be always breathing this heavy

if I’ve ever had to babysit u while u were shithammered drunk I expect a happy Father’s Day text

4.3 billion people use Google every day. But 99.9% of them don't know how to search Google properly. Here are 15 tips to use Google more efficiently:

"Blackrock’s decision to partner with Coinbase is a strong signal that institutions consider #Bitcoin and crypto a new asset class" -Cathie Wood 👀

gotta start them early

I saved her number as “Heaven On Earth” but it was too long so i abbreviated it

I love looking at my friends locations. They’re my little sims characters 🫶🏻

act how u want, don’t hmu when u need me

i can not say this enough but if you are one of those people that stands up in the aisle of the plane the moment it lands instead of waiting until it empties to your row please do not be my friend. disrespectfully, you are the most annoying person on the face of the earth.

cooking for people you love & care about is so therapeutic 🥰 (i just meal prepped for myself)