Don’t talk to me about your family on a work call, that’s a fireable offense

Mangos. Mangos are on the verge of extinction. If I was to create a flock of mangos on this island, you wouldn't have anything to say about it.

You know summer has arrived when the toilet seat rises with you

I'm sorry I described your beard as "stupid, but at least it covers your face"

His pediatrician says the new cat is exceeding all his developmental milestones, including being the most beautiful squishy boy she’s ever seen.

Okay these illusions aren't going to shatter themselves

M: that’s O: not R: how O: acronyms N: work

An eastern phoebe preening away! ❤️ #birdphotography #birds #birdsofX

Is knocking one back before noon while sobbing into a dish towel an interest or a hobby?

I'm going to have to move to find a man who shares my values if I want to have a relationship (& I do). East Texas ain't it, my brothers & sisters in Christ. The hate, ignorance, Trump loving, & Ted Cruz stans are awful. Fuck these backwards men. Not with my vagina, though.

I would be selling my house the next day 🐍

Gaston arrived to us in May 2023 after being found as a stray in Mirabel. It took him a long time to put his trust in us, but now he's discovered a new passion for cuddling! He purrs easily and loves other cats. Bring him home today! 🐈‍⬛

Couple goals 🫶🧡

nature is beautiful

Not all heroes wear capes, some have fur and purr a lot