This is one of my favorite graphs

So embarrassing in an antique shop when I tried to buy a vase and it turned out to be the negative space between the faces of two other customers

You don’t see dogs legging it out of a butchers with a string of sausages anymore. Just another thing woke has taken from us

*least jealous voice ever* actually i don't need to see the aurora borealis bc i see beauty in every living thing and every moment

“Oh. Wow. Oh. Jeez. We didn’t think everyone was gonna bring a bag!” -airlines

is that right? is that what the vegan sausage patty is giving? 'eat me vibes' ? i want to cover my body in moss and lay in the barren wilderness until the sky collapses

>drives the chevy to the levy
>it’s dry

hardest part of beekeeping is thinking of all the names

you wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me.

Robert what the hell nobody was suggesting this

what if toasters could feel the entire range of complex human emotion? what if roombas could smoke cigarettes

I know everyone wants to make jokes about OJ Simpson rn but please have consider some respect for his family and children, especially bart and lisa

Lost my Thesaurus. Gutted. Really gutted. Like absolutely gutted.

if Sisyphus had Instagram:

The plot thickens 🤯

I have photoshopped
the picture
you were hoping
would prove I was alive

forgive me

graphic design
is my passion