they let anyone in my steam dms

I can tell what time it is simply by looking at a clock

Give Sandra her flowers, all the awards, the key to the GDA building, because she DESERVES.

meeting new people is hard because now i have to tell them about the curse

Peeing in the shower is truly an indulgent joy, only rivaled by slapping my nonverbal son

random drug test at work today and the chill guy tested positive for PCP

The Strokes displaying last university in Gaza bombed as they finish their set in Coachella.

tomodachi life news broadcasts

How parents in the 60s saw the Beatles

i have no one to send this to

yeah im fucking with you your honour

Showing up 20 minutes late to work with a huge ice cream cone

all right, I'll bite. who is this "Michael Jackson" character

you can do this repeatedly and chain the transference until your entire consciousness is inside a small rock or carved piece of wood

kind of embarrassing to laugh at a joke that someone makes it’s like. ohh i’m pregnant with your humor,, i’m giggling and it’s yours

KIDS ARE SMOKING THE HENTAVIRUS

saeqlyx