How many strikes it is until you’re out at the old ball gaaaaame

i was a loser weirdo, i still am, but i was too

I can’t think of anything more embarrassing than running into Jeremy Fragrance and you’re not wearing a fragrance

I treat objects like women

(8th grade voice) ur an oxymoron

i can’t stand no thin ass tissue why my thumb in my ass

light beer tastes like guinness after drinking nothing but soda water for 2 months

A 6 pack of beer should come with 2 cigarettes

All by yourself is among the more efficient ways to rot

Just need tonight to be over

there’s a mean bone in my body

Elon musk? X? Yooo this is some good shit haha here smoke this bowl we gotta go to class

bro are you ok you’ve barely touched your assisted suicide cocktail

I should go out in public more but what’s there even to do all my stuff is at home

Where can I dispose of my dead car battery? I don’t live near the ocean

At what age do you set your text message notification to the most obnoxious sound possible, turn it up to full volume, and let it go off throughout a quiet public dinner setting

Going to Home Depot to clear my mind

Just googled symptoms of Alzheimer’s and all the links were purple