me: night time brain: is the right time TO WORRY

I would be such an amazing, patient mother if it weren't for all these kids.

"If evolution works, how come mothers only have two hands?” -Milton Berle #Moms #MAMA2021

Somebody needs to clean my house. I’m afraid it may have to be me 😭

I believe the children are our future. Teach them well and let them lead the way.

Tequila - because it's Mexico somewhere.

Welcome to your 40s. You remember your home phone number from when you were 11 but you can’t remember why you came upstairs.

Being a stay at home mom doesn't mean I'm unemployed. It just means I'm unpaid.

Current mood!

4: Let's hunt turkeys, Daddy. Me: How do we do that? 4: Put up a big sign that says, "Come here, Turkeys!" I might be raising Elmer Fudd.

By a certain age every woman should have a signature scent, a signature dish, and at least three exes who want her dead.

Kids👏🏽do not👏🏽need👏🏽a👏🏽full👏🏽jam-packed👏🏽day👏🏽of👏🏽colonial👏🏽education👏🏽in👏🏽order👏🏽to👏🏽learn.

Two weeks into Dry January and I’ve already lost 5 pounds! I guess cutting out alcohol (and barely eating one meal a day due to depression and stress) really works! 🙌🙌🙌

#rhodeisland #homeschool twitter, please hmu. Moving there in a few months!

Homeschool Advice: Never compare your child's learning progress with someone else's

fave Peter Gabriel songs on his birthday, from my faves. please RT

Me: please pick up those large crumbs, I just vacuumed. 5: you can vacuum again. Me:

So who wants to get married, buy some land, build a high efficiency eco house/homestead, have a couple kids, homeschool, and wait for the apocalypse?

The raw anger of this turtle is #NotWhatISignedUpFor [sound up]

ladies, please take the word “just” out of your emails. you don’t need it! it undermines your power! but just my opinion, feel free to ignore :)