Did you really go to Beverly Hills if you weren’t almost killed by a BMW?

Listen… Elmo ‘s Twitter account is fire.

actually it's only hbo max if it's from the hbo region of france, otherwise it's just sparkling max

All hail the true Governor.

I don't want to work in an office I want to have a mysterious and wealthy patron who lets me occupy a wing of their manor in exchange for producing 2-3 paintings a year and attending extravagant social gatherings as a curiosity

Last week, Angeline Mirenda and I went to see our boyfriends fight each other in #Renfield And I can’t stop thinking about Nick Cage’s performance. May we all be THAT committed to what we do. Like… damn.

Me: Wakes up super dehydrated from eating too much pizza the night before. Also Me: eats the same leftover pizza for breakfast.

So today I failed a captcha test. And not the “select all the boxes with a stoplight” kind. Just a check the box kind. So I guess I’m a robot now. #brb #offtodorobotthings 🤖

Well… you did. Thank you James Gunn ❤️ Also, was it just in my head ‘cause of the day or were there a ton of Star Wars references in Vol. 3… Either way it made me happy.

you ever want to do everything so badly you end up doing nothing

My friends and I texting each other…

Someone tell Rhys Darby and Taika Waititi that we did bar Shakespeare dressed as Ed & Stede. I feel like they’d appreciate that. #OurFlagMeansDeath #ourflagmeansshakespeare #barshakespeare #riotshakes

It just gets better as it goes on…

he waited until we were at the altar to publicly accuse me of cheating so I faked my death but then he felt bad when I was proven innocent and agreed to marry my cousin who was actually me in disguise

I have spent the expected amount of time giggling at weeewhoo wagon. Meaning I haven’t stopped since reading this

Me trying to survive this Monday ⬇️

when you think about it, hello dolly and sweeney todd are both about returning to a restaurant you haven’t been to in a while

I keep hearing people complaining about Twitter. But mine still has the 🐦 and is still 90% #ourflagmeansdeath content. So, I clearly have gamed the system. It’s not cause I won’t update the app. Nooooo

Oh.