I bought an old ordinance survey map of the area where I live. Barely readable was a marking for Castle Grit. I'd never heard of this mysterious place before, so I led the family on a day long hike to explore it. It wasn't a castle. It was a cattle grid.

As a child I thought that 'jackpot' was short for jacket potato. Asking my dad why anyone would bother entering a quiz with a jacket potato as the top prize was one of the most embarrassing moments of my childhood.

Was once talking to a guy who texted me to say he was a typical "quaint essential" British man, instead of quintessential, whilst bragging about how intelligent he is. My fanny has never been drier than in that moment.

#GeneralElectionNow you twisted fucks.

Train driver here. Whenever I see someone waving goodbye to a partner/family member/friend from the platform to the train, I hold the train for a minute or so, just long enough to make the waving become awkward.

I grossly misread my primary school leaving party dress code, and arrived as a teenage mutant ninja turtle. I'm a girl. Everyone else looked pretty and I was Donatello. I spent most of the dance in the toilets crying

When listening to music in the car, I repeatedly clench and unclench each buttock in time with the drumming. My teeth often play the part of the snare drum.

I like to sniff my partner's armpits. I don't tell him this those, as not to freak him out. I just play dumb and 'cuddle' him to get a sniff. I don't know what it is about guys armpits.

My husband went on a boys weekend to Prague, he hid a big box of condoms in his luggage so I broke the seal and l replaced them with a note explaining the locks would be changed when he got home and I am keeping the dog.

My dad put my mums phone in her coffin with her for her burial. About 3 months later I thought it would be funny to change her number on his phone to mine & I text him saying "get me out of this fucking box!". He didn't see the funny side and didn't speak to me for almost a year.

J.Lo is great shorthand for Jennifer Lopez, but it's not something you should try if you're Pete Doherty.

My husband keeps asking me to roleplay as a slug in the bedroom, he keeps stressing that it has to be a slug not a snail. I don't know what I'm meant to do.

yes, please do enlighten me. email me at [email protected]

this is what happens when you don’t recycle your pizza boxes

The replies 😅

Best.

when will it end?

Paul O'Grady drunk is literally all of us drunk (just excuse the f word)

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