I REALLY BUT BABY IT’S CAN’T STAY COLD OUTSIDE

sometimes I can’t stop thinking about how much easier my life would be if I was a hot and boring man. Instead I am a talented and interesting woman and this is my curse.

"Diagnosis made by hallucinatory voices" Woman hears voices asking her to get a CT scan because they claim she has a brain tumour. Her psychiatrist orders a scan to reassure her but they actually find the tumor. After her surgery the voices thank her for listening and disappear

Our pack of dogs has shrunk by 2 in one month. Lost the latest early this morning. Rest In Peace, Smokey. Now you can go play with your brother and sister again.

He’s only your fiancé if he comes from the Fiancé region of France. Otherwise he’s just your sparkling boyfriend. A brosecco.

tis the season

when you’re on aux with a new friend in the car & your murder podcasts come on instead of your playlist

BREAKING NEWS: The Tennessee Titans have just signed QB Josh Dobbs

spiritually james marsden is one of the chrises

Honkshoo & honkshoo Also— mimimi etc

me on january 1: this year is gonna be all about balance me on january 17: maybe if i drink enough coffee i’ll just burst into flames

“R u okay” bro the sky been grey for 3 weeks