*Watching tiny house hunters*. Husband: wow this is tiny Wife: soooo small Realtor: also it costs eighty thousand dollars

Riddle me this: I never touch the lenses of my glasses, but they're always smudged....(Dot dot dot like your parents)

Filling out passport app: Other legal names: I'M BABY

Why am I either suicidal or feel nothing wtf how has science not come further than this

Unpop opinion; having biological children in 2019 is environmentally irresponsible.

What's the first letter? S, as in sdog.

"Why do stoners like Bob Marly so much" He invented it duh. That's where they get the name. Bob marly-juana

Can we start a cult that's for something good tho? Yeah I think it's called a nonprofit organization

Just a stupid bitch who loves drama

How much are crocs?

sorry babe, the birks stay ON during sex

Might fuck around and become a public bathroom whistler idk yet

*puts collar on dog* i now crown you the family dog

Yeah. I'm Bi. I like dogs AND cats.

The cats pajamas Bees knees Mutts nuts Gorillas gooch Tarantulas taint