My kids when I learn to use Twitter. Soup 🥫 Grace 🌿 blanca. Jennifer Campbell @Twitter Dad Jokes Dads Puns Dads Talking All Pro Dad

Wife text me this morning ''Windows frozen!'' I replied ''Just pour some slightly hot water over it.'' Wife: ''Computer's totally broken now!''.

The only way you'll lose weight from drinking green tea is when you climb up a mountain and pick it yourself. #ThursdayMotivation

It's not disrespect! Someone in their caucus forgot to bring the Preparation H and it really hurts when they stand and sit back down.

If Buzz Aldrin punches a guy before Bernie Sanders falls asleep, I win $5000 and a new Kia Sportage. #SOTU

TRUMP: To defend the dignity of every person, I am asking Congress to pass legislation to prohibit the late-term abortion of children who can feel pain in the mother's womb.

52% Approval Rating, 93% in Republican Party ( a record )! Pretty amazing considering that 93% (also) of my press is REALLY BAD. The “people” are SMART!

If your dads a coach anything is possible

The college football playoff committee trying to keep Alabama in the top 4 after losing to LSU x.com/jhonawhins/sta…

To The Extraordinary Men and Women of the United States Military:

I hate spelling errors. You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined.

If you are going out and hanging out with people, YOU ARE THE PROBLEM. Stop being selfish and stay inside. I would like a summer please.

Heights' Austin Campbell was going to start at catcher this season -- until COVID-19 struck. Here's his story: ksvype.com/heights-austin… Wichita Public Schools J. Means Anthony Church Wichita Heights Athletics Heights Baseball

nypost.com/2020/10/17/wha…

Come On #Twitter don’t be that guy

Let's win some honkers from ROGERS! wn.nr/GLUyV2