We got new music from Hilary, Demi, Selena, Miley, Kesha, Jonas Brothers, and Jesse McCartney. 2025 really was for the millennials.

Saw a tweet about wingless pads and one woman’s response was “Nope, I got a fat ass cooter mama”. There are still poets among us.

Suzanne, if you’re listening, write Finnick next please. Not his games, but him navigating the capital, being shady with secrets, dealing with the psychological aftermath of his games (flashbacks/seeing the people he killed/etc) while mentoring Annie in her games. Pretty please.

I hope A Very Jonas Christmas Movie is in contention for an Oscar, a Tony, an Emmy, a Grammy, all of them, maybe even two of wach. Truly a masterpiece, once in a generation.

I think my dog is too cool for me. Like I’m absolutely bringing down his street cred.

Every gift guide for men is the worst thing you’ve ever seen in your life. If you don’t smoke meats, drink whiskey, or need 32 leather wallets, you’re not getting a present.

New most annoying person you’ve ever met just dropped and their Spotify age is above 50.

This is the energy I am channeling watching SLOMW reunion. Stop trying to make Dadtok matter!!

A girl I work with is turning 21 and invited me to her birthday, and then double checked that I was old enough to get into the bar. Brb while I tell this story to everyone I’ve ever met for the next 6-8 months.

Heated Rivalry, summed up.

If there is one thing Joyce Beyers doesn’t care about, it’s where here son Jonathan is.

can't tell you shit about what happened in the abyss, they made steve look too good in there I blacked out #StrangerThings5

As always, fuck the Packers. 🖕🏼

If your boyfriend got candy in his stocking for Christmas, how long does it have to sit in the pantry before you can eat it? Asking for a friend.

My dog is my best friend but I’m definitely not his best friend.

Forcing my boyfriend to learn about Punch the monkey by sending him every video on my feed for four days straight.

“Bear in mind” let me stop you right there, there are always bears on my mind.

Name a better character than Samwise Gamgee. You can’t.

I would like to apologize to all past boyfriends, men who thought they were my boyfriend, and situationships, for all the times they tried to get me to watch Star Wars and I adamantly refused. I finally watched every single one and that shit is so good. You were so right. My bad.

I don’t go on roller coasters but I imagine it’s the same thrill as when I’m typing in the group chat after I run into one of my friend’s exes and they got fat.