i dont have rizz, i have big brown doll eyes and many unsettling things to say

Yeah I like BDSM (big dogs so much)

“Why does my stomach hurt”

i’m just trying to stack money in 2024 ok

why is the hangout fest lineup this year kind of a flop

i'm gonna be so productive today also me:

me: why does my back hurt my posture everyday from 9-5

don’t be the bigger person today, be the problem

"Imma just wake up early and do it then"

They’re called deviled eggs because if you don’t like them you can go to Hell.

I hate when people accuse me of lolly gagging when I'm quite clearly dilly dallying

you look like you’ve been embalmed

My oil painting of a Martini & Uncrustable

i was 7 years old going to work!

Seeing a Cybertruck really does ruin your day. Because wtf is that

“WHO WANTS HOT CHOCOLATE???” that one girl from the polar express:

all of a sudden facebook is making a tiktok account and now we’re getting instagram ads on the for you page??? hmmmmm. is meta taking over? 🫠😭 #tiktokban #tiktok #meta

screaming crying shitting throwing up