Moms see you grab that 5th beer and genuinely act like you’re holding a lighter under the spoon

When you have taken off her panties and you’re ready to go in and she hits you with ‘ I want you to promise me something ‘

We got taco Tuesday & cinco de mayo at home

Me after dipping her tiddy in tequila and then adding salt around her nipple

I can’t believe how much some of my coworkers talk. Life fucking stories all day like shut up OMG

I’ll never take my phone off DND. There’s no emergency I can save anyone from

RIP brotha, see you in Valhalla

This gas shit outta control

Some ppl srsly only make $14-$19 an hr and gas $5 a gallon….plus others bills thats truly crazy and sad af

whoever dating my evil ex rn please cheat #ibegyou #cheatday

Le tocará a Tigres, el equipo más grande de Nuevo León, salvar al fútbol mexicano. El naco ese de Buanga solo existe contra Kevin Álvarez.

Having to work for 8 hours is wild when I don’t even sleep for 8 hours

Meeting someone who can’t swim is weirdly repulsive, it’s like encountering a cripple or a retard.

When they just not her

The quiet person at work knows this

"ass or tits" idk bro probably a genuine personality would be nice (ass)

Yo cada que veo una chichona